Age 17, USA
Asking you to forgive me is something I’ve already done. But no matter how many times I ask you, you will never tell me in clear words that you forgive me or if I was ever the reason why you did what you did.
They told me that no one saw it coming. No one could have predicted why you made that choice and why you aren’t here anymore.
It’s easy, isn’t it? For them to say that they couldn’t have known and therefore aren’t to blame? But why did you do it? Why did you choose to end your life here?
I hope you forgive me. I didn’t know you at that point. I had my friends and you had yours. We had gone our different ways…and I lost you. I didn’t reach out when I wondered about you. I kept my head down, smiled at you in passing.
I hope you forgive me for not trying harder. I saw you. Two days before you did it. I waved to you and you lifted a hand to say hello. Maybe you were saying goodbye.
I hope you forgive me. I hope you forgive me for not trying, and for not being there to save you.
I Hope You Forgive Me‘s response:
Dear “Blame Games,”
Thank you so much for sharing. Whether you were a close friend or not, it’s normal to wonder and to worry if you could have done more. Don’t go there.
Instead, help yourself and help others by focusing in on what you CAN do, instead of what you can’t change. Putting emotional energy into something you can’t change is normal, but it’s also something you have to let go. Otherwise, it’s difficult to move forward. It also because a huge time waster!
Think about all the good you CAN do! Pay attention to the people around you. Say hello to a person and sincerely add, “How are you doing? I noticed you looked a little down *obviously only if they are. What’s going on?”
Take on the world by adding goodness to it. We sure could use it. We sure could use more kindness, more compassion. Be that person others like to be around because you’re a bright spot in their day.
But first, you need to be a bright, shining light for yourself. That means doing the very best you can each day. It’s time to let go of the blame game. It wasn’t your fault. It never will be your fault. Live life with joy and remember this person. May his or her memory because a source of strength!