The Last Straw
Age 15, Missouri, USA
To 15 year old me, I forgive you.
She hit you and held you against that wall. Still, you stayed. And for that I forgive you. She cheated and flirted with other girls. Still, you stayed. And for that I forgive you.
You really thought that your love could fix all of her issues.
Every second of every hour, she made you feel anxious. Still, you stayed. And for that I forgive you. I forgive you for giving up and digging your nails into your skin to temporarily get rid of the emotional pain.
I forgive you for thinking you were truly in love. She was your first. You didn’t know any better. You thought every couple had issues, that everyone struggled just like you. You had no idea until you spoke out about it.
You decided not to tell your mom about a lot of it, which built a small wedge between the two of you. And for that I forgive you. You weren’t ready, and you’re still not. But maybe someday you will be.
Most importantly, thank you.
Thank you for leaving her when that last straw broke. Thank you for finding ways to let out your sadness without leaving scars on your body. Thank you for overcoming the fear of leaving her and loving yourself.
It will get better, I swear. You’ll find you’re a thousand times happier with your friends. Sometimes you’ll miss the affection, but it’s so much better than staying in a horrible, abusive relationship.
I’m happy now.
What did you learn?
I learned that it’s okay to be independent and love yourself and that there are many better ways to relieve anxiety and depression than harming yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
IHYFM’s response:
Dear “The Last Straw,”
What an eye-opening, revealing, and incredibly important story on relationships and love. True love raises you up, makes you stronger and more confident. True love brings out the best out of each person, isn’t manipulative and controlling.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Thank you for loving yourself and for having the courage to walk away from a toxic relationship! We wish you the very best and we know you’ll find true love!