Were We Ever Friends?

 In Featured Stories

Age 17, Chicago, Illinois, USA

We’re not friends anymore. Maybe we never were.

But I want you to know that I forgive you.

I forgive you for telling me I looked fat in every pair of jeans I tried on when we went shopping at Kohl’s. Size 8 is not fat, but since you’re a size 4, you took every opportunity to point it out to me.

I forgive you for trying to ruin my birthday with all your criticism about what I was wearing and how my hair looked like a frizzy mess.

I forgive you for always comparing us. Yes, you may get As and I get Bs, but I’d rather be a true friend than one who constantly has to prove she’s better than the rest of us.

I forgive you for flirting with my boyfriend and for saying horrible things to him about me behind my back. He told me. You tried to break us up. You almost convinced me that he was cheating on me. But everyone knows that you’re the one who was jealous. He loves me, and he’s the one who pointed out to me that you’re not a true friend.

Most of all, I forgive myself for making excuse after excuse after excuse for you, for all the times I listened to your words and called myself stupid or ugly because I listened to you more than I listened to myself.

What did you learn?

True friends watch out for you and don’t try to bring you down. True friends don’t make everything into a competition.

IHYFM’s response:

I Hope You Forgive Me

Dear “Were We Ever Friends?”

Good for you for recognizing that this person wasn’t a true friend. Anyone who tries to sabotage relationships or cuts you down definitely does not deserve you. It’s not always easy to recognize that you’re giving away your personal power to someone else, but that’s exactly what happened.

Though we don’t know exactly how the friendship ended, we know that breaking off a friendship is never easy, but good on ya!!!! And if this person recognizes what she did and apologizes, proceed with caution. Yes, people do deserve second chances, but THEY’RE responsible for showing you. Old habits can die hard, but change is possible.

Wishing you all the very best and may you have true friends you can trust and respect.


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